No Art School. Ever.

You heard me rightly.

So I kind of made the most important decision of my life. I'd been thinking about it for at least a year, but kept swirling it around my head just so I wouldn't rush to conclusions or make up my mind too quickly.

For the last three years, I've wanted to attend art school after I graduated. This will not be happening anymore. Why? I realized I want to be a Psychologist. Like, a clinical psychologist. A therapist, essentially.
I think this will work so much better for me than being an artist ever would. For one, art has a way of stressing me out. A lot of people would say this is ironic. Whatever. I just feel so pressured to work on my art, and if I don't improve, then shame on me, I am a horrible person. It used to be fun, sure, but that was when I was a retarded 14-year-old weeaboo who knew nothing about art other than pseudo-anime drawings with disgusting bodies and proportions. Now it's just "You have to keep up the good work and produce nothing but masterpieces forever." Even if I continue improving with my artwork, I will never be good enough for my own standards. It's just too much pressure. I'll collapse if I keep this up.

So I've done the research and gotten the information. I'll start applying to schools in a matter of days, and I'll put Psychology as my projected major. I realize I'll end up spending 7 years in college (along with all the financial costs of said college X_x), but I strongly believe it will be worth it for me.
Psychology has always fascinated me. Everything from dreams to drugs to Sigmund Freud (Frood). I believe I'll do more good as a therapist than I would as a graphic designer or an animator of some kind. Mental illness is something that I care very strongly about, and as a Psychologist, I would actually be making an effort to help those people who are suffering from them.

I'm truly doing it for the love of Psychology. Yes, I really am so passionate that I would dedicate my life to it.

So, unfortunately for the few who enjoy my art: My days as an artist are coming to an eventual end. I'll probably still do a little bit of art on the side, but I am no longer seeking it as a career option.

Thank you for supporting me. I appreciate every little bit of it.

Together We Can

That's the theme for a new AP Studio project.
I like the idea for this theme. I've proposed a solution or two.

The first idea is "Together we can survive."
This goes along with the idea of fighting mental illness, a subject for which I'm very passionate. I need to draw up some sketches. My idea for this is having two people sit next to each other, holding hands. Each person is scarred, bandaged, and bruised. And the other person is the only thing keeping them alive. The finished drawing would only show the hands and laps of the people sitting.

The second idea is "Together we can fly."
This is a bit more lighthearted than my first idea. Two people are standing together, facing away from the viewer, with their arms entwined, holding hands. Each person has one wing on their back, and seems to be missing the other.

Thinking about composition, I think the first idea would work better. With the second idea, I'm unsure of what I would put in the background in front of the people. I kind of want the back to be just a solid color, to allow the foreground to speak for itself. However, I think this would upset the balance. Or something.

I dunno. I like both ideas. If I don't do one for the assignment, I'll probably do the other just as a personal project.


I love being inspired. ;u; Doesn't happen very often.

Speeding Cars

I finished my enormous drawing, Speeding Cars. 23x14.5 inches (58.4x36.8 cm). Graphite (4H, HB, 2B, 4B, 6B), Strathmore paper.

I don't know how much time I spent on this thing, but it felt like for-freaking-ever. Mostly because I dislike drawing stable structures such as buildings, sidewalks, and cars (especially cars, gah I hate drawing cars). There's a bit of a shine due to the light being reflected by the graphite pencil. Sorry about that, please bare with me on the quality of the photo.

"Here's the day you hoped would never come
Don't feed me violins
Just run with me through rows of speeding cars
The papercuts, the cheating lovers
The coffee's never strong enough
I know you think it's more than just bad luck

There, there, baby
It's just textbook stuff
It's in the ABC of growing up
Now, now, darling
Oh, don't lose your head
'Cause none of us were angels
And you know I love you, yeah"

- Speeding Cars, Imogen Heap.


Allow me some time to explain the entire motive behind this drawing. If you care enough to read about a serious subject that is often overlooked, please continue reading.

This girl is standing in the middle of traffic. She is in immediate danger, and yet no one is going to help her. She's on her own. It seems somewhat obvious that she is standing in the middle of the road, raw in the danger of being hit. And yet none of the people in the cars care to look and see that she even exists. The girl seems to have willingly thrown herself into this situation, otherwise she could easily escape it (step onto the sidewalk).

In case it isn't apparent, this drawing was meant to target the subjects of depression and suicide.

Suicide is something that is so easily overlooked and unnoticed. People generally accept it as something that "just happens" and there's nothing that can be done about it. Or that depression is "being hormonal" or "whiny" or that the person with depression is a brat who needs to get used to the real world. Some people even think that depression is a tool used to gain attention from others.
...I'm not just making this up. This is actually how some people think.

The people who think "depression is a tool to gain attention" are horribly, horribly wrong. Clearly, it's not getting very much attention, so this is the last thing people should use in order to gain attention. Anyone who shows signs of depression needs some help. Or even just some support. A friend. Anything.

Suicide, unfortunately, is something that people never actually consider until it's been done. And once it's been done, it cannot be undone. They think "they wouldn't do that" or that they know the person better than that. And suddenly they're gone.
In this drawing, the spontaneity of the girl flinging herself into traffic is symbolic of how people can just off themselves so easily without warning. It's scary.

I intended to write more, but right now I'm just tired and a little sick, so perhaps I will revisit this post.

As for a final statement: Please, try to be aware of your surroundings. You never know when depression may strike someone you love. If you're not careful, you might end up losing them due to pure ignorance. It's no laughing matter.

Thanks,
- Dawnne