Breakups are hard.

This is easily one of the hardest ones I've gone through. I couldn't stop myself from falling apart at random intervals throughout the day. In the middle of a conversation my eyes would water up and I'd sit there sniffling like the whiny little pussy baby I am. I don't know what I would have done if Kersten wasn't there. I'd probably be hysterical. Cry myself into a fit. I've done it before, why not again?
It hurts.

I don't know what to believe anymore.

I hope he's happy with what he did.

I was just reaching the point where you get used to having someone around, someone always in your life. It's the little things that are getting to me most of all; where will I go in the mornings? Who will I sit with during homeroom?
I don't know if it's truly sunk in yet. I keep having these exciting thoughts about things, like "Omg, I can't wait to tell him about this!" and then feeling like death inside immediately after those thoughts.

I want to throw myself in front of a bus.

I can't trust anyone.

I'm on my own.

I can't imagine that he'd be reading this. He doesn't give a flying fuck about what happens to me, he only cares about himself and making people feel bad for him.

I'm not okay. I'm far from being okay.

I don't know if I'm angry or depressed. Angry because he lied to my face without a remorse. Depressed because I've lost someone I've been close to.

How dare I think someone actually liked me? How dare I come out of my shell? Who the hell does this girl think she is?

I just want to disappear.

I'd give it all to you
Letting go of me
Reaching as I fall
I know it's already over now
Nothing left to lose
Loving you again
I know it's already over, already over now
"Already Over" - Red