Mutual.

Let’s fall apart in each other’s arms. I’ll let my weaknesses show and I’ll crack in the knees. I’ll just tear apart at my seams and unravel to the floor. Don’t worry about the romantics of it all, I only need an hour of your time and a place to light up. Baby, you have the power to take everything I have and leave it in ruin. It’s hard to have everything to myself when I can’t even stand on both legs. What am I to you? Just another hospital trip and a week of sleepless nights. What are you to me? An inspirational story of a downfall and a playlist of sad songs. It’s a constant adrenaline rush and a nonstop thrill of the chase. And we can’t stop now because we’ve already started again…


(Happy New Year!! 2011)

A Guide to Lucid Dreaming

I found this today:

Very little of this is true.

If you believe that any of this will make you lucid dream, chances are you are not very familiar with dreams and how they work.

Lucid dreaming is when the dreamer is aware that he/she is asleep. This allows him/her to control what happens in his/her dream.

Dreams only happen during the final stage of sleep known as Rapid Eye Movement (REM). The average sleep cycle is 90 minutes long. It takes between 45-60 minutes to reach REM. Unless you have been deprived of sleep for a longer amount of time than is healthy, you cannot reach REM in less than 30 minutes (and even if you have been deprived of sleep for an unhealthy amount of time, you probably won't reach REM, anyway, and will instead stay in stage 4, the deepest part of the sleep cycle).

Second of all, no one can "begin lucid dreaming on the first attempt." Lucid dreaming is quite a long, arduous process which requires effort. It requires dream journals, alarm clocks in the middle of the night, a strong sense of self-awareness and many other factors that can't possibly be formed in one night.

In short, all this will do is give you a headache, and waste thirty minutes of your time. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but there is no shortcut to learning how to lucid dream.

Now, if you would like a more accurate guide on how to lucid dream, continue reading.
Please note that I am not [yet] a trained, licensed professional. I'm basing this guide from experience and what I have learned about dreams.

First of all, you should figure out why you want to lucid dream. Is it because you want to know yourself better? Is it because you want to escape the waking world? Do you just want to brag to your friends that you can do it? No matter what it is, it's always good to know your real reason.

Then, you must regulate your sleep cycle. This means strict bedtimes and waking times. It might be difficult at first, but after a few weeks of sticking to the same sleep schedule, it should become a regular, normal thing for you.

Start keeping a dream journal. Keep it next to your bed at all times. Immediately when you wake up, write down your first thoughts. Try not to write in clear sentences; focus purely on your immediate thoughts and write down important key words.

After you have kept a dream journal for a significant amount of time, you should notice that it's becoming easier for you to remember your dreams. This is very important when lucid dreaming.

Now that remembering dreams is a piece of cake, you're ready to start focusing your attention on actually having lucid dreams.

Set an alarm clock to go off exactly 90 minutes after you are scheduled to be asleep. This will wake you up just as you are finishing your dream, therefore making it easier for you to recall more details from that dream. Record this in your dream journal and go back to sleep, with an alarm set for another 90 minutes after this. Repeat this until your scheduled waking time. Continue doing this every night until you have accumulated a large amount of details in your dream journal.

Read through your dream journal. Make mental notes about repeating patterns, such as a certain person, or clothes you're wearing, or a location you visit, in your dreams. Once you have noticed a pattern, you will now be able to understand what you are likely thinking about in your sleep.

Now that you are able to recognize when you are dreaming, having a lucid dream should not be much of a problem. You should be so well-acquainted with your sleep/dream cycle that your mind should automatically know when you're dreaming and when you're awake.

Your first successful attempt at lucid dreaming will most likely be short. This is because it has surprised you that you are able to do it, and you will startle yourself awake. Staying asleep is a learned process, and with continued practice, lucid dreaming will become easy for you.


I know it's a lengthy process, but many people find it to be an easy way to learn more about yourself. You'll be able to remember things that you can't during waking hours. You'll finally understand why you keep dreaming about that one person. There are more benefits to this ability, and you will learn these as you continue dreaming lucidly.

Have fun, and sweet dreams! :)

Change

Finished project for Studio.

I'm trying to come up with a title for this one. The idea was to show differences between changes in time, etc. Butterfly looking at a caterpillar. AND YOU CAN ACTUALLY TELL IT'S A CATERPILLAR OMG

I. Hated. The. Hair. soooo much. Especially because it was on the edge of the paper. I'm sure we all remember being a child and trying to color with a crayon against the edge of the paper. It's hard. Especially when it's 11:30 PM, you're tired from lack of sleep from the last three days, and your thumb is sore from too much friction from the colored pencils. FML

I decided to use purple this time. It's a color I haven't used for a while, and I like the effect it produces in this case.

I wish I had been able to more properly show that the butterfly wing is painted on her face...not just some random HEY I'M GONNA PUT THIS ON HER FACE LOL

Overall, I'm pretty happy with it. I just wish I hadn't waited so long to do it.

Also, I just found out I'll be getting a 4.0 for this semester. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW

LASKFJ;LKSDJF;ASDKFJASD;LKFJ

I'm so happy. ;u;

The Forever Project

Possible redesign for Anarithia.

(oh, wow, it's been so long since I've posted anything about Anarithia that there's not even a post tag for it yet)

Yeah, I've officially begun on completely reworking Anarithia. I'm starting with character designs, because I think the plot only needs a little bit of tweaking. Compared to the rest, anyway.
Characters, chapters, style, format, dialogue, and even things like the town map and architecture...they all are in desperate need of being redone.

I've decided to name this the Forever Project because that's how long it will take to complete. For real.

Don't mind me, just popping through the walls

aklsdjf;lkasd I'm so sick of looking at thissss
M. C. Escher style self-portrait. It turned out looking exactly like me. Shitty photo, but I really do not care at all. There's a better photo, but I don't have access to it ATM. I'll fix this post when I get it. EDIT: fixed now~

I'm wanting to do more Copic/Prismacolor marker drawings, but I can't really come up with anything. Plus it's hard to make traditional art with markers when you only have 12 different colors, the majority of them being skin tones. And I don't have the kind of money to just throw at buying markers online...particularly markers that I hardly ever use.
I want to use the markers I do not have.

:I

Quite a problem I have here.

Tell me what you know.

Would you still love me
if I didn't breathe?
As you drag these heavy
mechanical limbs across the
scraping tile floors in hopes
that you can find a cure

Would you still heal me
if it took my life?
This crippling cursed disease
rotting my flesh and soul from the
inside out and tearing me
away from what I once admired

Would you still chase me
if you knew it held inescapable?
Running away as fast as my
dead-weight legs can carry me and
screaming at the top of my lungs in
firm belief that someone will find me

Would you still hold me
if I never deserved it?
Please take your justified right
to flee for your life and retreat
to the ends of the Earth as
far away from me as possible

Would you still love me
if I couldn't love myself?

~Cocoa~

My boyfriend isn't feeling very well, so I made him some hot chocolate (if only metaphorically, it's the thought that counts, right?).
Whoa, traditional art
No shirt or mug color porque estoy cansada y no me gusta encontrar marcadores. :<

WELL, LOOK AT THE TIME LOL